


Not an Illusion!

by Morgana_avalon



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 22:38:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18397769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Erestor doesn’t want to be alone anymore.





	Not an Illusion!

Not an Illusion!

 

“I do not want to be alone anymore,” whispered Erestor. He felt lonely and lost, looking out over the calm, silver water of the Bruinen. Each night he came here, hoping to find some other lonely Elf who would sit with him. His loneliness felt oppressing and he yearned for company – someone to talk to, someone who would allow him to hold his hand… But he remained alone.

 

His long, raven hair obscured most of his features and the strands hid the salty tears that streaked his face. Most of the Elves who he counted among his friends had found lovers a long time ago. Elrond had married Celebrían and the two Elves were still happily in love, even after having been together for several centuries. Lindir had found love in Melpomaen’s arms and rumors went about that even Glorfindel was in love and courting his chosen one.

 

“It is not fair,” he decided, that he was the only one without someone to love. He had reached a point in his life during which he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

 

Not that he wasn’t in love! For he was in love – deeply, madly and truly. But the object of his desire was already in love with someone else. He didn’t know who Glorfindel was in love with, but he believed the rumors that said that a young, noble guard had captured the Captain’s heart. The guards had been whispering among themselves, often seeing a passionate look in the blue eyes late at night. They just hadn’t deduced yet who their Captain was in love with.

 

/Oh, I am a pitiful excuse for an Elf!/ Angry with himself for letting go in such a way, he wiped away his tears and brushed his long hair away from his face. /I cannot give in to my despair in such a way! I am Chief Advisor to Elrond! He depends on me for many things. I cannot be this unbalanced./

 

After composing himself, Erestor rose from the rock he had been sitting on. He used the fabric of his robes to dry his feet, which had been dangling in the water. It was time he set aside his self-pity and returned to the Last Homely House to get some rest. Elrond would need him again in the morning. The council meetings seemed never-ending.

 

Erestor turned and headed back to the Last Homely House with a bowed head and slumped shoulders. The truth was that no one was interested in him and that he would remain alone for the rest of his long, immortal life.

 

~~~

 

Little did Erestor know that a pair of eyes followed his form until he disappeared from the other Elf’s view. His heart-rending admission had not gone unnoticed. His words had been heard.

 

~~~

 

“Erestor?” Elrond arched an eyebrow at finding a thorn less, red rose on his Chief Advisor’s desk. He had come in early to catch up on his correspondence and had found the rose. “Erestor, please come in here.” Erestor was in the adjourning room – the half-Elf’s study.

 

Maintaining his always dignified front, Erestor entered his office. “Is something amiss, my Lord?” Elrond had often told him to do away with the title, but Erestor found it hard to address Elrond informally, especially when they were at work. “How can I be of assistance?” His eyes grew big, seeing the rose on his desk. “What is this?”

 

“You tell me. It is lying on your desk.” Elrond smiled at his friend. “Is there something you would like to tell me?” He hadn’t known that Erestor had a lover!

 

“I have no idea who put this rose on my desk.” Erestor carefully approached his desk, almost as if he didn’t trust the situation and expected for the rose to turn into a snake and to attack him.

 

Elrond noticed Erestor’s cautious demeanor and said, “It is a real rose, Erestor. It won’t bite.” He could smell its sweet scent.

 

Erestor swallowed, feeling strangely nervous. He extended a hand and his finger brushed against the soft petals. “Who left this here? And why?”

 

Elrond coughed, clearing his throat. “There is a card, you know.” He pointed at the cream-colored note, neatly tied to the stem with red fabric.

 

Erestor’s unease grew. Someone was playing games with him – leaving roses and notes. Who would be so cruel to toy with his feelings? A startling thought came to him. Could it be that someone had overheard him mutter last night?

 

“Won’t you read the message on the card?” Elrond was bursting with curiosity. It was about time that someone noticed his Chief Advisor in a romantic way. As he was extremely happy with his wife, he wanted his friend to be happy as well.

 

Erestor’s fingers trembled as he turned the card around to read the message.

 

Please accept this rose…

A secret admirer

 

Erestor’s breathing wavered and his face grew flustered. For one stupid moment he had allowed himself to hope that this was a serious gesture from someone who was interested in him, but he sobered quickly. “Someone decided to play a prank on me, my Lord. I apologize for the distraction.” Erestor picked the rose up and placed her in the bin. “We should attend to your correspondence now.”

 

“Why did you do that? Why did you throw it away?” Puzzled, Elrond searched Erestor’s eyes. “It is obvious that someone cares about you.”

 

“It is a joke, my Lord. I know of no Elf that is interested in me. I would prefer to forget we ever found this rose.” Erestor gathered the letters Elrond had come to fetch and returned to the half-Elf’s study, trying hard to ignore the pain in his heart.

 

/I cannot believe he did that!/ Elrond blinked. /Someone removed those thorns to make certain he would not cut himself./ Elrond turned his head and caught sight of Erestor, sitting hunched at his desk and reading the first letter. /Someone is interested in you, my friend. Why are you so determined not to see that?/

 

After releasing a troubled sigh, Elrond joined Erestor in his study. After all, there was little he could do as long as he didn’t know the name of Erestor’s secret admirer.

 

~~~

 

Work ended late that evening. Elrond had already retired and Erestor was extinguishing the candles and oil lamps that illuminated their studies. As he walked through his office, the rose in the bin caught his attention. He froze and bowed his head. It *had* to be a prank. He hadn’t been alone at the river last night and someone was using his loneliness against him. And yet, the rose was beautiful and it would be so easy to believe that he *did* have a secret admirer. His feet carried him to the bin and he bent down, collecting the rose. /Thorn less. Someone removed the thorns so I would not hurt myself./ The thought that someone cared that much about him made him feel all warm inside, but he was afraid – afraid to believe someone liked him that much!

 

In the end, Erestor slipped the rose between the folds of his robes and exited his study. Walking the long corridors, he headed for his rooms. He wasn’t looking forward to spending another evening on his own.

 

~~~

 

A soft knock on his door pulled him from his slumber. Erestor had fallen asleep in a comfortable chair. He had only wanted to rest a moment before washing up and readying himself for bed. He must have been more tired than he had thought. “Who is it?”

 

“The cook told me to deliver this, Lord Councilor,” came a female voice from the other side of the door.

 

Pushing himself to his feet, Erestor made his way to the door and opened it. One of the maids faced him, carrying a tray which held a goblet and a card. Erestor blinked, accepted the tray and thanked the She-Elf for delivering it to his room. After closing the door, Erestor headed over to his desk and set the tray on the table. The fragrance of the spices that surrounded the hot wine told him that someone had noticed he preferred his wine hot and with added spices. But he hadn’t sent for the drink. His fingers trembled, unfolding the card.

 

You work too hard, Erestor. I hope that you will enjoy this wine and that it will give you pleasant dreams.

Your secret admirer

 

Erestor sat down on a chair, feeling stunned. At first, he had thought that placing the rose on his desk had been a prank, but now that this wine had been delivered to his room, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Only the Elves seated at the head table knew how he preferred to drink his wine. Which one of those Elves was playing with him?

 

The fragrances called out to him and Erestor curled his fingers around the goblet. He sipped slowly, enjoying feeling the hot liquid running down his throat and warming him from the inside. A glass of wine was just what he needed after a hard day’s work.

 

Minutes later he had emptied the goblet and placed it back onto the tray. He picked up the card and placed it with the first note he had received. Studying the handwriting, he realized that he had never seen it before. Maybe the writer had changed his handwriting on purpose to avoid being found out?

 

Erestor rose from his chair and headed into the bathroom, where he quickly washed up. He exited naked, as he preferred to sleep in the nude. After pushing back the covers, he stretched on the mattress, releasing a deep, trembling sigh. Oh, how much he wanted to feel a warm body curled around his, holding and touching him! But he was alone and his only way to deal with his loneliness was to flee into a world of fantasy.

 

His fantasies always revolved about Glorfindel. The Captain had stolen his heart long ago, and although the golden haired Elf was in love with another Elf, Erestor still allowed himself to dream about the warrior. Closing his eyes, he surrendered to his fantasies…

 

Glorfindel’s hard, muscular body pressed against his and Erestor willingly pushed back. The warrior’s erection was nestled between his buttocks and rubbed against the entrance to his body. Strong, possessive arms wrapped around him and stilled him, stopping him from rubbing his behind against Glorfindel’s groin.

 

His fingers curled around his hard flesh and he pumped his engorged member, already feeling his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach. He arched his back, thrusting into his hand, into the air.

 

“I want you so much,” whispered Erestor, consumed by his fantasy. “I want to feel you move inside me.” Directing the fantasy as he pleased, he imagined Glorfindel opening him up, slowly entering him. “Aye, like that…”

 

Licking one finger, he lavished it with saliva. He rolled onto his side and reached behind him, slowly pushing one finger into his passage. “I want you so much!”

 

In his fantasy, Glorfindel had sheathed himself to the hilt. In his daydreams the blond Elf would always remain motionless at first and Erestor used that moment to add a second finger, stretching himself. He didn’t thrust, he simply enjoyed feeling stretched, feeling full. Stroking his member, he imagined Glorfindel whispering endearments to him, confessions of love and passion. Reaching completion, Erestor squeezed his eyes shut, determined to stay inside his fantasy and lock out empty reality. He quivered over his entire body, riding out his orgasm.

 

A single tear slipped from his eyes when reality crashed in to him again. The potent wine had made him let go and he now regretted giving in to his need to fantasize about Glorfindel. The blond warrior would never be his!

 

Erestor pushed himself into an upright position and used a corner of the sheet to wipe away his seed. Sitting on the side of the bed, he watched his feet, which dangled just above the floor. He didn’t want to go to sleep yet, but what else was he supposed to do? He was alone.

 

Feeling miserable, he took a comfortable blanket with him and curled up on the thick rug in front of the blazing fire in the fire place. He stared into the fire until he finally fell asleep.

 

~~~

 

“Elrohir, would you go to Erestor’s rooms and find out what is taking him so long?” Elrond gave his son a warm smile and then returned to studying his letters. The twins were close to reaching majority; only a few more turns of the moon and they would be considered adults. As far as Elrond was concerned however, his sons needed a few more years to reach adulthood. They had always remained playful and even a bit naïve perhaps. As far as he knew they had turned down all suitors and kept a distance where courtship rituals were concerned.

 

“I will, Ada.” Elrohir’s dark hair swooshed after him when he dashed out of his father’s study. He was happy to have been given an excuse to escape the dreadful place. He just didn’t understand why his father was willing to slave over paperwork when he could also work at the healing house! Although he was already a capable warrior, he had not chosen that path for himself. He wanted to become an accomplished healer.

 

Elrond and Celebrían had been pleased to learn that at least in this aspect the twins were different and applauded Elrohir’s choice because it was different from Elladan’s, who desired nothing more than to become Imladris’ guardian and defender.

 

Elrond was still smiling, reading over Thranduil’s latest letter as he knew something Erestor didn’t know yet. Another present was waiting patiently on the Advisor’s desk.

 

~~~

 

“Erestor? Erestor!” Elrohir called out louder that second time and his knock on the door sounded harder as well, growing concerned for his friend’s well-being. “Why aren’t you answering?”

 

“Oh, in the name of the Valar, stop shouting, Elrohir!” Erestor supported his head, sitting upright in bed. What other spices had been added to that accursed wine? He should have known better than to drink it when it was a gift from a stranger! Had his secret admirer tried to drug him? Oh, but his fantasies had never felt that real before!

 

“Erestor! Open your door this instant!” Elrohir felt relieved after hearing Erestor’s voice, but wanted to make certain that his friend was all right. Erestor had been his tutor for many years and the twins had always loved and respected the elder Elf, who could tell exciting stories for hours. They had often been spell-bound, sitting at Erestor’s feet and listening to the Advisor telling his tales!

 

“Give me a moment! Please!” Erestor pushed himself to his feet and dragged himself over to the doorway. Opening the door, he let his long hair fall in front of his face, shielding what had to be dazed eyes.

 

Elrohir marched inside, grabbed Erestor’s forearm and brushed the dark hair away from the much loved face. He raised an eyebrow and stared questioningly at the elder Elf. “What is amiss?”

 

“I drank some bad wine,” explained Erestor, cringing now that he had been unable to hide his state from Elrohir. “And why are you here in the first place?”

 

“Ada sent me to fetch you.” Elrohir guided Erestor over to the couch where he sat the elder Elf down. “I will get you some water.” He walked over to the desk and poured Erestor a glass of water. After sitting down next to the Advisor, he handed Erestor the glass. “Drink.”

 

Erestor obeyed and cringed, seeing how high Arien had already risen. “I overslept.” He never overslept! That was why Elrond had sent Elrohir to fetch him. “Give me a few minutes to wash up and to get dressed and then I will join you.”

 

Elrohir had seen the effect wine could have on Elves, but he had never seen Erestor afflicted by it. Erestor seldom indulged himself in that way. Remembering all the lessons Erestor and his father had taught him involving diplomacy, he decided not to address the matter. Erestor already felt embarrassed as it was!

 

“Go on, I will wait here for you.” He watched Erestor push himself to his feet and enter the bathroom with sluggish steps. Knowing his father as well as he did, he reckoned Elrond would take one good look at Erestor and give him the rest of the day off. Erestor was in no state to work today.

 

~~~

 

Elrond’s brow inched higher and Erestor cringed. “I did not do it on purpose. I sometimes drink a glass of wine before going to bed, but this wine was much more potent than I am used to.”

 

“And it came from your secret admirer?” They were in Elrond’s study and Erestor hadn’t seen the gift sitting on his desk yet. Elrond walked up to Erestor and placed his hand on his friend’s brow. Erestor looked flushed; was there more going on than he could tell?

 

“Aye, it did, my Lord.” Erestor felt ashamed; he had let Elrond down this morn.

 

“Erestor, please stop calling me that. We have known each other for centuries. I think it is safe for you to call me Elrond. You should know by now that I am not for ceremony.”

 

Erestor bit his bottom lip and felt grateful when Elrond pulled back his hand. “I will try to remember that.”

 

“Erestor, you are in no condition to work today,” said Elrond in an authoritative voice. “I release you from your duties for today. Go to the gardens and find a nice shaded place to rest. Or go to the libraries to read.” He knew of Erestor’s passion for books. “Or go to Bruinen and join the boys there.” It was a beautiful, sunny day and the twins had gone to the river to swim.

 

“I should not,” whispered Erestor, his guilt ever increasing. “We are supposed to reply to Thranduil’s latest letter and then there are conditions for the treaty with the human village near our borders, which need to be negotiated. And what about the duty roster and…” Erestor grew silent, seeing Elrond’s firm expression.

 

“The treaty can wait. I can reply to Thranduil’s letter without your assistance and the duty roster… We need Glorfindel for that and he is away on border patrol.” Elrond had countered each of Erestor’s arguments and hoped his friend would finally give in. He couldn’t remember the last time Erestor had taken off time for himself. However, the expression in Erestor’s troubled eyes told him his friend wouldn’t award him victory that easily. “I will take the day off as well. Imladris will survive without us. Why don’t you collect some towels from your rooms and meet me in your study in ten minutes? We will head for the river together.” Elrond complimented himself on how well he had handled that. Erestor now had no other choice than to comply.

 

“But…” Erestor realized Elrond had outmaneuvered him and that he was left with no way out. “Aye, my Lord.”

 

“Erestor…”

 

“Aye, Elrond. I will meet you in ten minutes.” Erestor bowed his head, feeling like he had failed his friend. It was bad enough that he was forced to take the day off and couldn’t catch up on his work, but now Elrond had to take time off as well. This was *his* fault! Nay, he thought, shaking his head, this was the fault of the Elf who had sent him that damn wine!

 

~~~

 

Resigned to his fate Erestor removed his heavy, formal robes and slipped into a shirt and leggings, which were far more suitable for going to the river for a swim. /But I am not swimming./ He had always been very wary about being naked in the presence of others. It was also the reason why he never went to the public baths. He wasn’t as well-built as most of the Imladris’ Elves. He had grown up during the fall of Gondolin and the long journey into safety had taken its toll on the small boy, keeping him from developing the same muscle tone as the other boys. His body had remained lithe, his muscles less developed and he had never reached the height he would have, given proper nourishment and nurturing. His parents had died in that attack and his heart had felt shattered ever since.

 

Erestor picked up a towel and left his rooms, heading for his study to meet with Elrond, just as he had promised he would. Opening the door, he froze in the doorway. On his desk sat a book and in front of it stood a card. Even from this distance he easily identified the now familiar handwriting. He stalked closer, looking about and seriously expecting his ‘secret admirer’ to reveal himself as a prankster. But nothing happened and he gingerly picked up the card to read it.

 

I know of your love for books and thought you would like to read poetry on a lovely day as this one.

Your secret admirer

 

Erestor swallowed hard, his nervousness still increasing. He wanted to believe that someone had taken an interest in him, but he was too afraid to believe he could be that lucky. Cautiously, he curled his fingers around the book and examined it. He quickly realized that he had never seen it before. All volumes that belonged to Elrond’s library collection had been marked in a certain way and this book carried no such mark. This book came from someone’s personal collection. Leafing through it, he found most poems were on the subject of love. Studying the handwriting led him to another startling discovery; the handwriting on the card and in the book were the same. His secret admirer had written this poetry!

 

“Do you know yet who your secret admirer is?” inquired Elrond, leaning against the wall as he studied his friend. He had also changed into more comfortable clothes and like Erestor he wore a simple shirt and comfortable leggings. He had left boots and house shoes in his rooms, wanting to feel the earth beneath them when they ventured out. Erestor jumped at hearing his voice, telling Elrond that his friend was not comfortable receiving these expressions of affections. “Erestor?”

 

“Aye, it is from…” Erestor turned, tightly clutching the book and card against him. “I do not even know if it is a he or a she.”

 

“What would you prefer it to be?” Elrond smiled at his confused Adviser. “Have you ever been attracted to She-Elves, my friend?”

 

“Nay, I have not.” Erestor’s face grew flustered. “But what if my secret admirer is a She-Elf?” He would hate hurting her feelings.

 

“Looking at the choice of gifts I do not think that we are dealing with a female.” Elrond extended his right arm. “May I have a look at the handwriting?”

 

A startling thought came to Erestor; what if this was Elrond’s handwriting? Could it be that the Lord of Imladris was playing with him? But no, he dismissed that thought immediately for several reasons. The writing on the card wasn’t in Elrond’s hand, the half-Elf dearly loved his wife and Erestor didn’t believe Elrond capable of willingly hurting him in this way. He handed the card to the Elf-Lord. “Do you know that handwriting?” he asked, seeing Elrond’s expression change.

 

“Even if I did, I would not tell you,” said Elrond, reaching his own conclusion to who Erestor’s secret admirer was. Handing the card back, an impish smile appeared on his face.

 

Erestor’s heart thundered in his chest. “You know!” he said in accusing voice.

 

“Maybe I do,” hinted Elrond, delighted to have solved this mystery. “But I am not telling you. Are you taking that with you or do you want me to find a secure place for them?” He pointed at the card and book in Erestor’s hands.

 

“I will take them with me,” said Erestor, unwilling to part from his gift.

 

Wanting to do away with the awkward moment, Elrond pulled his friend into the corridor. “It is a lovely day; we should use our time well.” His family was already at the Bruinen and would be delighted to see them join them.

 

~~~

 

“Elrond!” Pleased to see her husband taking some time off from his work, Celebrían waved at him and patted the grass next to her. She had also exchanged her formal robes for a dress of light texture and enjoyed sitting in the shade of an old oak tree. From where she sat, she had a perfect view of her sons, splashing in the water. Arwen was sleeping at her feet, curled up and looking happy. “Erestor?” she added, surprised to see the Advisor as well.

 

“Maybe I should return to work,” whispered Erestor, feeling uncomfortable.

 

“Nonsense!” said Elrond, placing a hand on Erestor’s shoulder. “You are always welcome to join us.” He hoped his friend knew his words were true. “We look upon you as a trusted friend.”

 

Celebrían rose from the grass and embraced her husband. Then she turned to Erestor and gave him a warm smile. “You did well to join us here on this fine day.” She had often tried talking Elrond in to taking a day off, but her husband always remained faithful to his duties.

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor, feeling shy around her. His gaze came to rest on Arwen and he smiled, seeing the contented expression on the Elfling’s face.

 

“Come, sit with me!” Celebrían sat down again and pulled Arwen into her lap. The Elfling moved about, but didn’t wake, settling down into a comfortable position.

 

Erestor felt nervous, realizing Elrond was removing his clothes. Elves usually didn’t feel shy about their bodies, but he was the exception. He simply couldn’t look at Elrond’s naked body.

 

“You should go swimming,” said Celebrían, addressing her husband and Erestor. “The twins would be delighted to have someone new to chase and dunk.”

 

“We will – in a moment.” Elrond’s heart filled with love for his family, seeing his wife cradle Arwen in her arms. He had always wanted a large family. “Has she been eating?” Arwen was a difficult Elfling when it came down to eating. She only seemed to like the sweetest foods.

 

“I managed to feed her some porridge this morn, but it was not easy to get her to comply. Promising her that we would go to the Bruinen helped,” explained Celebrían.

 

“Ada! Erestor! Come into the water!” The twins had finally noticed the new arrivals. They wildly splashed about, trying to draw the elder Elves’ attention.

 

Erestor cringed. “Would you mind if I stayed here and read?” Hopefully Elrond would permit it. He wasn’t certain how he would handle himself being chased through the water by three playful half-Elves.

 

“Actually I would,” said Elrond, confronting Erestor head on after long years of avoiding of dealing with the real issue. “I could make it into an order, but I would prefer not to.”

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath, surprised that Elrond was this determined to get him into the water. “I will humor you,” he said, trying for a teasing tone, but failing. He felt extremely self-conscious removing his clothes and fought the urge to cover himself with his hands – well, at least his private parts.

 

Celebrían giggled and Erestor’s blush increased. Erestor gave Elrond a venomous glare. As far as he was concerned Elrond was to blame for everything!

 

Elrond on the other hand remained unimpressed and extended his right hand. “Come into the water with me.” The fact that Erestor felt ashamed of his body puzzled him. Aye, it was true that Erestor was smaller than most Elves and slender, but his body was perfectly proportioned – all parts of his body – noted Elrond with a grin. He considered chiding Erestor for using his raven hair, which reached below his buttocks, to shield most of the Elf’s upper body from curious looks, but he decided against it. Taking this step was already a great accomplishment for his friend.

 

Erestor allowed himself to be led into the river and once the water reached his waist, he felt a bit more comfortable now that he wasn’t completely exposed anymore. Suddenly a wave of water splashed over him, making him cough. He threw an indignant glare at the twin who had surfaced behind him. “Elladan!”

 

“Erestor, the point is to misbehave, so do not tell me to behave,” Elladan said quickly, preventing Erestor from berating him. “We are here to play!” Taking control, he jumped Erestor and pulled him beneath the surface. Elrohir, watching his twin, chuckled merrily and joined in the fun. Erestor found himself attacked from two sides and did his best to struggle free. Once he had freed himself of their greedy hands, he emerged again from the water, quickly scanning for Elrond, who could hopefully keep him safe from the twin terrors.

 

But the Lord of Imladris had different ideas. He swam toward Erestor beneath the water and hooked his arms around his friend’s legs, effectively pulling Erestor under.

 

Erestor tried to be patient and understanding of their childish acts, but his patience reached its limit when the twins began fighting over who got to dunk him next. Deciding it was time to take control of this embarrassing situation he attacked Elladan, pulling him under. Turning beneath the water, Erestor pulled Elladan along. Elladan however still had a hold on his twin and refused to let go.

 

Elrond laughed, seeing Erestor turning the tables on his sons. He swam toward a rock, which emerged from the water, and settled onto it, sitting cross-legged. Today was a good day.

 

~~~

 

Today had been bizarre at best, mused Erestor, sitting on the river bank and letting his skin dry in the sun. It was amazing how quickly he had set aside his shame and had participated in the twins’ games. The fact that Elrond had also joined in still surprised him. He had paid Elrond back for dunking him earlier. The twins had been most helpful when it came down to getting payback on their father.

 

“Today was a good day, wasn’t it?” Elrond sat down beside Erestor and watched Arien descend. Within the hour Ithil would appear in the sky.

 

“It was,” agreed Erestor, whose fingers caressed the leather cover of the book. He had glanced inside, reading several poems, which had all featured a raven-haired Elf with brown eyes. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out who the author was describing. “Whoever gave me this must have watched me for a very long time.”

 

Growing interested, Elrond leaned in closer. “May I have a look?”

 

Erestor reluctantly handed the book to Elrond. “Why won’t you tell me who he is?”

 

“Because I think he should reveal his identity to you when he is ready to do so.” Elrond smiled, reading another description of Erestor in the book. “Aye, he has been watching you for a long time. I remember the time when you wore your hair like that.” Erestor seldom braided his hair, but he had made an effort to do so last Yule. 

 

“Do I like him?” asked Erestor, desperate to learn more about his secretive suitor.

 

“I think you do.” Elrond handed the book back to Erestor. “We should return now. Darkness will come quickly and I want my family inside once night settles over the lands.” Elrond rose from the grass and gestured for the twins to dress. Arwen had woken and was cooing loudly, trying to catch a butterfly flying around her head.

 

Erestor actually felt disappointed that the day had come to an end. Spending time with Elrond’s family had been amusing and he had felt a part of the tight family unit. After dressing himself, he tucked the book beneath his arm, taking it home with him.

 

~~~

 

/I wonder who he is. Elrond knows, but refuses to tell me./ Erestor searched the eyes of the Elves seated at or near the head table. There were the twins of course, close to reaching majority. Erestor recalled a time, not so long ago, that Elrohir had come running to him because he’d had an upsetting experience. Erestor had quickly explained to him that reaching completion in his sleep was quite normal and happened to each adult male Elf. Elrohir had given him an odd look and the question Elrohir had asked him had almost shocked him. Elrohir had asked him if he reached completion in his dreams as well, and he, the teacher, had grown fiercely flustered. At exactly that moment Glorfindel had rounded the corner, saving the situation by distracting Elrohir. /I am not much of a teacher when it comes down to such intimate matters./

 

“Erestor?” Celebrían cleared her throat by releasing a soft cough, which also served to draw Erestor’s attention. “Aren’t you going to eat that?”

 

Erestor blinked and looked at his plate. During his musings they had apparently moved on to dessert. “What?” he stammered, realizing that the food set before him different from the content on the other plates. The cook stood next to him and the young Elf smiled, curiously.

 

“I hope this will be to your satisfaction. I do not make ice cream that often.” The cook wiggled his eyebrow. “Would you please try it and let me know how it tastes?”

 

“Ice cream?” The twins’ eyes widened, seeing the delicacy.

 

“Strawberry flavored ice cream,” said the cook, still smiling.

 

Erestor stared at the miniature swan, made from ice cream, which sat in the center of his plate. Around it laid blueberries, creating the illusion of water. “Who…?”

 

“He asked me to give you this.” The cook, realizing it was time to return to the kitchen, placed a card next to Erestor’s hand. “I hope you will like it, Lord Councilor.”

 

Erestor quickly read the content of the card and sucked in his breath.

 

You must taste as sweet as this delicacy does, my dear Erestor. I pray to the Valar that I will get the chance to find out one day.

Someone who loves you

 

“You should eat it before it starts to melt,” advised Celebrían, who wished the ice cream sat on her plate instead of Erestor’s.

 

Erestor nodded, absentmindedly, and pushed the note toward Elrond, begging the half-Elf with his eyes to read it. “The words have changed.” At first, the gifts had been courtesy of ‘a secret admirer’, now they came from ‘someone who loves you’. What was he supposed to do?

 

“Eat,” said Elrond, reading the note over. A blinding smile appeared on his face and he nodded his head once. Hopefully Erestor’s secret love would shortly reveal himself to the Advisor.

 

~~~

 

Erestor had curled up on his comfortable chair near the fireplace. He felt somewhat off-balance and now that he was in the privacy of his rooms he allowed his confusion to show. At first, he had assumed that someone was playing games with him. That someone had overheard his muttering that night and was now sending him gifts out of pity. But what puzzled him was the choice of gifts and that the sender said he was someone who loved him. /It is only an illusion. It is not real. Someone is trying to make it look like they love you, but in reality they do not./ It was hard for Erestor, who had been alone for so many millennia to now admit that someone might be interested in him. Although he wanted nothing more than a lover, the thought also frightened him.

 

He felt relieved when no wine was delivered to his room. He wouldn’t have drunk it to begin with – not after last night. After shedding his clothes, he curled up on the bed, taking the book of poetry with him. Opening it, he read the poems again, trying to find a clue which would tell him who the Elf was who had written them. This Elf certainly had a way with words! The poems brought a smile to his face and made him feel special. Someone had watched him year after year and had written poems about him. /Does that mean this Elf has been interested in me for a long time?/ But that would mean that this wasn’t a prank and that the other Elf’s interest in him was real and not pretence.

 

He grew tired of asking himself such questions and Erestor placed the book aside. He had no idea who his mystery suitor was and Elrond refused to tell him. There was little he could do but wait for the next present to appear.

 

~~~

 

“My Lord?”

 

He hadn’t overslept again, had he? Erestor instantly sat upright in bed and scanned the horizon. No, he hadn’t overslept – it was still early in the morning. “Melpomaen?” Had he identified the voice correctly?

 

“Aye, it is me, my Lord. May I enter?”

 

“Enter?” Why would Melpomaen seek him out so early in the morning? The door opened, much to his surprise, and he realized that Melpomaen had interpreted his question as an invitation to enter. He pulled the sheet up to his shoulders and eyed the other Elf closely. Why was Melpomaen bringing him robes?

 

“A friend asked me to deliver these… and this card.” Melpomaen draped the robes over a chair and handed the note to Erestor. “Do you require help getting dressed, my Lord?”

 

“Nay, I do not.” Erestor blinked, trying to get his emotions under control again. “You may leave now.”

 

Melpomaen placed the card next to Erestor on the bed and left the Chief Advisor’s rooms, quietly closing the door on his way out.

 

Erestor’s hands trembled, picking the card up to read it.

 

You would look lovely in these. Would you wear them for me?

Your love

 

Erestor swallowed, convulsively. He placed the card with the other notes and rose from the bed. The sheet slipped, revealing his naked body and Erestor crossed the room over to the chair. The robes were a deep green, lined with gold. Erestor’s fingertips moved over the fabric and picking it up, he realized it had been made just for him. Just by looking at it, he could tell it would fit him perfectly. Someone had gone to great lengths to get his measurements right. /He must have commissioned this robe a long time ago./ Making an exquisite piece like this took time. His fingertips encountered something hard and his eyes widened, realizing emeralds and little buttons of gold had been attached to the valuable velvet. /And he wants me to wear this?/

 

Conflicted, Erestor returned to his bed, taking the robes with him. He arranged them on the bed beside him and stared at the gift. /If only I knew who you are./ Elrond had hinted he would like his secret admirer and he trusted the half-Elf’s judgment. But actually accepting this courtship and wearing the robes for all to see was something wholly different. /What if *he* sees me wearing them?/ But wasn’t that the point?

 

Erestor pondered his dilemma until Arien unfolded her warm beams, allowing her light to caress the troubled Elf’s face. Erestor made up his mind and headed into the bathroom to ready himself for the day.

 

~~~

 

The soft fabric caressed his skin with every step that he took. Erestor closed his eyes, fighting down his arousal. Never before had wearing robes had this effect on him. There was something else though, besides the soft fabric moving over his skin, the robes carried a distinct scent, one he should know, but he couldn’t quite place it. Erestor knew that he had smelled it many times before.

 

“Erestor?” Elladan, on his way to Elrond’s study, looked at the Chief Advisor in surprise. Erestor preferred wearing dark colors, which brought out his dark eyes and seeing him in such greens surprised Elladan. “I have never seen you wear anything like that before.” He reached out, running his fingertips down the soft fabric, encountering an emerald stitched onto the sleeve. He *knew* those robes! He *had* seen them before! Or something resembling them!

 

“These robes are a gift,” managed Erestor, feeling shy. He offered Elladan a weak smile. “Do I look ridiculous in them?” He still wondered why he had put them on. His head and his heart had been at war for a long time, but in the end he had realized that he wanted to take this chance at love.

 

“Nay, you do not,” said Elladan, eager to reassure his former mentor. “You look radiant.”

 

“Thank you.” Erestor smoothed the folds of his robes and looked Elladan in the eye. “I do not know who gifted them to me, though.”

 

“You do not?” Elladan remembered dinner last night. Erestor had received a card and had been treated to that delicious ice cream. “You should find out. It looks to me like someone is desperately in love with you.”

 

“Do you really think so?” Could that be true? Did someone love him? His heart swelled with pride and affection.

 

Exactly at that moment Elladan remembered where he had seen the emerald and golden design before. He also recalled who had worn a cloak with the same design. Had Erestor forgotten? He grinned and pulled Erestor into a quick hug. “I am happy for you.” Releasing a puzzled Erestor, Elladan turned on his heel and headed for his rooms, eager to share the good news with his twin.

 

“You are?” Erestor blinked; did Elladan also know the identity of his secret admirer? This was driving him insane!

 

~~~

 

Erestor fought for control. All day long Elrond had given him *that* look. That certain look which said, ‘I know something you don’t’ and Elrond appeared thrilled to know his suitor’s identity. It only served to make Erestor even more frustrated than he already was.

 

“Those robes look good on you,” said Elrond, unable not to tease Erestor a bit. “He must have had them made especially for you.” Erestor’s suitor possessed a cloak in that same color, with emeralds and gold embroiled on the velvet material. Erestor’s admirer was growing cockier; there was a chance Erestor would remember that he had seen the design before and then he would finally solve the puzzle.

 

Erestor snapped. “Tell me!”

 

“Nay.” Elrond cocked his head and smiled sweetly at his friend. “I believe that he will shortly reveal himself to you. Patience is a virtue, Erestor.”

 

“Who says I want to be virtuous?” He wasn’t virtuous when he lay alone in bed at night, touching himself, penetrating himself and feeding himself fantasies.

 

Elrond was impressed; he was seeing a side to Erestor he had never seen before, although he had always suspected it was there. A fierce and passionate fire burned beneath the calm and controlled exterior. “Just be patient a little longer.”

 

“What if I do not like him in turn?” asked Erestor, growing calmer and a bit desperate.

 

“You already like him,” said Elrond, covering the distance between them and gently pulling Erestor into a loose hug. “Trust me, you like him.”

 

Erestor managed a smile. “I will trust your judgment.”

 

“You do that.” Elrond steered Erestor toward the doorway. “Why don’t you head for your study? I think I saw something on your desk – it resembled a card.”

 

“You did?” Big-eyed, Erestor exited Elrond’s study.

 

“I know the two of you will be happy,” whispered Elrond, pleased that Erestor was opening up to the possibility of becoming someone’s lover.

 

~~~

 

If you feel ready to meet with me, come to the Bruinen at midnight. I will be there…

 

Erestor felt nervous, giddy, thrilled and afraid all at the same time. The time had come to face this mysterious Elf. Would he accept the challenge? Was he ready to do so? /I do not have a choice,/ realized Erestor. /I do not want to be alone anymore./

 

~~~

 

Erestor felt beyond nervous. He was so nervous that he had arrived early. Ithil was full tonight and covered the Bruinen in a magical, silver light. He sat down on the ground, enjoying feeling the grass tease his toes. He had removed his house shoes, wanting to feel as free as possible tonight. The soft, green robes still caressed his body and he had grown hard once more. Everything seemed so surreal, yet he was here, waiting for his ‘love’.

 

“You are wearing the robes I gave you…”

 

Erestor trembled, instantly recognizing the golden, honey-sweet voice addressing him. Butterflies spread their wings and teased his insides. Sensing him approach, Erestor waited for his form to tower over him. Only then did he look up.

 

“Glorfindel.”

 

“Good evening, Erestor. May I join you?” Glorfindel felt shy, finally revealing himself to the Elf he loved so much.

 

“Of course.” Erestor gave Glorfindel a blinding smile. “Are you the one who left me those notes and presents?” Glorfindel seated himself close to him and Erestor wanted nothing more than to pull the warrior atop of him and kiss him breathless, but he controlled these urges. His gaze was drawn toward the cloak Glorfindel wore and suddenly everything shifted into place. “Your cloak…” He should have realized it before, should have remembered seeing the design made of emeralds and gold. The design was a golden flower, set on a field of emerald grass. “I think I can answer my own question.”

 

“Aye, I sent you those notes.” Glorfindel carefully curled his fingers around Erestor’s, gathering the Advisor’s hands in his. “I was not certain you would accept them if you knew the identity of the sender.”

 

Erestor suddenly realized that Glorfindel felt as shy and insecure as he did – that was amazing. The golden-haired vision was a lovely and sweet balm to his lonely soul. How could Glorfindel possibly doubt himself? “I would have accepted them,” said Erestor, offering Glorfindel a smile.

 

Glorfindel released the breath he had been holding. “I am surprised that you did not realize it was me until now. I have worn this cloak before.”

 

“It must have slipped my mind.” Erestor returned the hold Glorfindel had on his fingers and squeezed in turn. He still had trouble believing Glorfindel was this timid around him. “I loved each of your gifts and I have kept the cards.”

 

Glorfindel had never seen a more lovely sight. Erestor’s normally dark eyes revealed love and gold seemed to drive away the brown. Brown-golden eyes, illuminated from within by love stared back at him. “I have loved you for a while now – from a distance,” he added quickly.

 

Erestor wanted to believe Glorfindel, wanted to believe the golden-haired warrior was in love with him, but that was something his mind couldn’t accept. This was just an illusion the Elda was creating in order to make him feel less lonely. It *had* to be an illusion! Glorfindel couldn’t possibly love him in that way! Making himself extremely vulnerable as well, Erestor admitted, “I love you too.”

 

Glorfindel felt immensely relieved at hearing Erestor’s admission. Caressing Erestor’s elegant fingers, he remained silent, relishing this perfect moment in time.

 

“But I thought you were away,” whispered Erestor, suddenly intrigued. “How did you arrange for the cards and the gifts?”

 

“I had help,” admitted Glorfindel. “Lindir has always known of my love for you and offered his help. I wrote the cards and took care of the gifts. Lindir arranged for you to get them.” Seeing Erestor raise an eyebrow, he added, “I had those robes made a long time ago. I always hoped I would one day be allowed to give them to you.”

 

“What brought about this change?” Erestor thought he already knew the answer.

 

“I overheard you the other night. It was here at the Bruinen and I was watching you. I watch you a lot more than you know. You said, ‘I do not want to be alone anymore,’ and I feel the same way. I do not want to be alone either – certainly not tonight now that I admitted my feelings to you.”

 

Erestor allowed himself to be drawn close when Glorfindel pulled him forward. He wanted to believe this illusion. He wanted it to sweep him off his feet. He wanted to experience the best night of his life and he wanted Glorfindel to be the one to take his virginity. “You are sweet.”

 

“Sweet?” Glorfindel sounded disappointed, but then caught the adoring expression in the warm eyes. “Erestor, I do not want to be alone tonight. Will you allow me to walk you back to your rooms? Will you allow me inside tonight?”

 

Erestor smiled. “Inside my rooms or inside of me?” To his utter surprise, Glorfindel blushed. /He did not expect that./ Aye, he was a virgin, but Glorfindel probably didn’t know that and he had no intention of sharing that information with the warrior. He was too afraid that Glorfindel would be gone in the morning and that he would return to his lonely life. Love just didn’t happen in his life.

 

“You would let me take you?” Glorfindel moved onto his knees and knelt in front of Erestor. His fingers found their way into the ebony mane and his lips inched closer to Erestor’s. “You want that?”

 

“Aye, I want that.” How many times had he fantasized about Glorfindel taking him? How many times had he penetrated himself in order to make him feel? Now he wanted the real thing – even if their affair would only last one night. Erestor had always prided himself on being realistic and he was convinced that Glorfindel could have any Elf he wanted, so why settle for him? No, he would give in to this sweet fantasy and give himself to Glorfindel.

 

~~~

 

Glorfindel tried to hide his nervousness now that they had arrived at Erestor’s rooms. All the way back to the Last Homely House he had held Erestor’s hand in his, rubbing the knuckles and caressing the fingers. He had been in love with Erestor for centuries and had never made a move, thinking Erestor was content with his life the way it was. He hadn’t realized the truth until he had heard Erestor’s plea that night.

 

Erestor pushed down the door handle and the door opened. He stepped into his room and pulled Glorfindel inside. Tonight, the blond Elf was his and only his.

 

“Don’t you think we are moving a bit too fast?” asked Glorfindel, closing the door behind him. He wouldn’t mind if Erestor wanted their courtship to last longer. He had actually expected Erestor to insist they courted before expressing their love in a physical way, but Erestor was eager – so very eager to become one and Erestor’s eagerness was awakening his own fire, burning him.

 

“I am content with the pace of our courtship,” whispered Erestor, removing the cloak from Glorfindel’s shoulders. Tonight was *his* night and no one was going to take that away from him. This illusion would die in the morning and he wanted to savor Glorfindel’s closeness tonight.

 

Glorfindel gulped, feeling Erestor unbuttoning his shirt. He hadn’t thought Erestor would be this eager to consummate their love, but he would do anything to please his lover. Used to taking control, Glorfindel also did so now. Allowing Erestor to remove his shirt, his own hands became busy as well, undoing the lacing of the robes. Sliding them down Erestor’s shoulders, he released a shuddering breath. “You are naked beneath them.”

 

“I love the way the fabric moves against my skin.”

 

Not only was Erestor naked, but he was also fully erect. Glorfindel drew in a deep, steadying breath and adjusted to this new situation. He had been under the impression that he would have to go slow with Erestor, but he had been wrong. The dark-haired Elf pressed against him and nimble fingers hooked beneath the waistband, already pushing down the fabric of his leggings. “Erestor, we can wait. We do not have to do this now.”

 

“I want this and I want you,” stated Erestor. He wouldn’t allow Glorfindel to take this way from him. “Please make me yours.” He pressed his body against Glorfindel’s, hissing sharply when the blond Elf’s arousal pressed against his hip. Glorfindel was taller than he was and much more muscular. “Please do not deny me,” he whispered, resting his head against Glorfindel’s chest. “I have wanted this for a very long time.”

 

Glorfindel wondered if he should inquire about Erestor’s history concerning his lovers, but thought doing something like that would be tactless. He would just proceed carefully and take his time preparing his new lover. Bringing his arms up behind Erestor’s back, he slowly lowered him onto the bed. Glorfindel slipped between the parted legs and felt humbled, seeing the expression in Erestor’s eyes. There was no longer any doubt in his mind that Erestor wanted this. Looking about, he spied a vial of oil on the nightstand. Oil Erestor probably applied to his hair in order to keep it so silky and shiny. “I love you,” he whispered, finally claiming Erestor’s lips fully. He teased the lips into parting and his tongue found its way past the teeth. Finally tasting his lover Glorfindel kissed him long, taking his time to enjoy Erestor fully. Beneath him, Erestor squirmed, trying to create friction between them as he was rubbing his erection against him. “Do you need me so badly?”

 

Erestor nodded once. Suddenly the enormity of what he was about to do registered with him and in an unguarded moment he admitted, “You have no idea how many times I fantasized about being with you in this way.”

 

“And I never knew… I never suspected…”

 

“Glorfindel, please…” Erestor arched toward Glorfindel, trying to claim the ruby lips again. At the same time, he managed to curl his fingers around Glorfindel’s shaft and he began guiding the hard flesh to the opening to his body.

 

“Nay,” whispered Glorfindel, fighting his heightened breathing. “I do not wish to hurt you.” He reached for the vial, uncapped it and covered his fingers with oil.

 

Erestor’s breath caught, seeing the fire of determination in Glorfindel’s eyes. Until a moment ago the blond Elf had seemed uncertain of his next step, but not any more. Glorfindel’s muscles tensed and the expression aimed at him made Erestor hold his breath. Glorfindel was strong, broad-shouldered and quite muscular. The Elf could move him about as he pleased and Erestor realized what kind of lover Glorfindel would be. That realization made his heart beat faster.

 

Glorfindel rolled him onto his left side and Erestor closed his eyes, nervousness fluttering in his insides. It was going to happen now – Glorfindel would take him. He could stop fantasizing about the blond Elf claiming him – it was going to happen now!

 

A cool finger crept up the cleft and rubbed against the entrance to his body. Erestor had never felt more excited and nervous at the same time before.

 

“Pull your knees toward your chest, meleth.” Now that his mind was made up, Glorfindel concentrated on his new lover, reading all the

– subconscious – signs that told him that he was dealing with an inexperienced bed partner. When he had first realized how eager Erestor was the most acrobatic positions had come to him. Erestor was lithe and hardly weighed a thing and Glorfindel had almost given in to his desire to take Erestor in a different way, but he had realized just in time that he should do what was best for Erestor. He wanted Erestor to enjoy this.

 

Erestor closed his eyes in bliss, concentrating on that oiled finger that massaged the outer ring. He yelped, feeling that first digit press inside and he tensed. His body tried to expel the intruder and Glorfindel instantly soothed him by placing kisses onto his shoulder and whispering words of love and dedication. Erestor relaxed and this time, Glorfindel’s finger easily pushed inside.

 

“You have never been in this situation before, have you?” Glorfindel had to make certain that he had reached the right conclusion.

 

“You are my first,” confirmed Erestor, pressing back onto Glorfindel’s finger. “I only wanted to give myself to someone I truly love.”

 

“Relax,” crooned Glorfindel. “I will take good care of you.” He wouldn’t betray the trust Erestor was placing in him. For one moment he wished he could have replied the same thing, that Erestor was his first, but he couldn’t lie. Ecthelion had been his first lover.

 

Concentrating on stretching his lover, Glorfindel’s finger moved in the loosening passage. “I will add a finger…” he said. “Tell me if you are in any pain.”

 

Erestor nodded and pressed back against Glorfindel’s chest. The warrior folded one arm around him and the kisses returned along with the soft murmurs.

 

Glorfindel added more oil and returned with two fingers. “I am going to stretch you,” he announced, judging it best that Erestor knew what to expect during his first time. His fingertips searched for that hard nub and when he rubbed Erestor’s prostate the dark-haired Elf called out his name. “Do not come yet,” he whispered, licking Erestor’s neck.

 

“Please take me,” whispered Erestor in turn. Too long had he brought himself to orgasm by using his fingers – he needed to feel Glorfindel inside him.

 

Judging Erestor ready, Glorfindel removed his fingers and replaced it with the head of his erection. Spooning close to Erestor, he inched inside. “Your wish is about to be granted,” he whispered. Nuzzling Erestor’s neck, he licked the skin, kissed a shoulder and continued to inch inside – slowly and carefully – ready to stop should Erestor give any sign of discomfort.

 

Erestor had never felt anything as divine as Glorfindel pushing inside. He had dreamt of this moment for ages and there was no pain, only pleasure. Pushing back, Glorfindel slid in the rest of the way. “You are inside of me.” It was a wondrous experience and Erestor never wanted it to end.

 

“Aye, I am.” Glorfindel tightened his hold on Erestor, keeping his arm wrapped around the other Elf’s shoulder. His other hand stole toward his lover’s groin and his fingers curled around the slick erection. “I will make this good for you,” he promised, thrusting shallowly and slowly. He pumped Erestor’s shaft in time with his thrusts and sucked gently on his lover’s ear lobe.

 

Erestor trembled beneath the sensual assault. He would never forget the way he felt now. The feeling of Glorfindel moving inside him made him come within seconds. He sobbed, apologizing for coming so quickly, but the sensation was too much. For too long had he been limited to fantasies and now that Glorfindel was really making love to him he climaxed too quickly.

 

“It is all right, meleth.” There would be other times and then he would make them last. Stilling inside Erestor, he smiled into the raven hair. The contractions started weak and slowly, then sped up and brought him to orgasm in turn.

 

Just when Erestor thought he had experienced everything, another sensation coursed through him. Liquid warmth filled his insides and he moaned, realizing it was Glorfindel depositing his seed deep inside him. This was the most intimate moment he had ever experienced in his life. “Thank you,” he whispered, pressing back and rubbing his face against Glorfindel’s arm. “Please stay like this?”

 

Glorfindel wanted to comply, but his lax member slipped from Erestor’s body. Trying to make up for their fast release, he continued to lick his lover’s skin. His fingers soothed the trembling Elf in his arms and he whispered more confessions of his love. Erestor’s breathing deepened and slowed down, telling him that the dark-haired Elf had fallen asleep.

 

Glorfindel remained awake though, guarding Erestor’s sleep and keeping him warm throughout the night.

 

~~~

 

The next morning, Erestor reluctantly freed himself of Glorfindel’s powerful embrace and sat, pushing himself into an upright position. Sitting next to the golden-haired warrior, he leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto the other Elf’s brow. “Thank you for last night. Thank you for making my fantasies come through.” Sometime during the night his subconscious had managed to convince him that Glorfindel had created the perfect illusion of love. But that was all it had been; a sweet illusion and now they had to go back to real life – a lonely and empty life. “I will cherish last night for the rest of my life.”

 

Erestor’s eyes revealed pain once he pushed himself to his feet. During their lovemaking he had experienced no discomfort, but now he found he was sore. But it was a good kind of sore for it reminded him that they *had* made love last night.

 

Soundlessly, he disappeared into the bathroom, where he washed and dressed in comfortable brown robes. He combed his hair and let it hang loose. Once he had reached the bed, he allowed his fingertips to touch Glorfindel’s golden hair and then he pulled back. It was time to face reality and let this fantasy die.

 

~~~

 

Even in his sleep Glorfindel reached for his new lover. He felt cold and Erestor’s body heat would warm him up again. But his hand only encountered mattress and tangled sheets, but no Erestor. His eyes filled with awareness and vexed, Glorfindel realized that his lover was gone. But Erestor had left something behind for him. A card sat on the pillow and he unfolded the paper to read his lover’s message.

 

Thank you for last night. I will never forget the way you made me feel. It is a gift I will always treasure.

 

Up until that point, Glorfindel had been smiling, rather cockily, priding himself on being such an attentive lover.

 

But I also know the illusion for what it was. You overheard me that night and felt pity for me. You tried to make me feel special, sending me all these gifts and cards and you succeeded. Glorfindel, I will always love you, but I also realize that it is time to face reality.

 

I understand.

 

Erestor

 

“You understand?” Frustrated, Glorfindel glared at the note. “Just what do you *think* you understand, Erestor?” No, he wasn’t going to let this happen! He was going to take charge now!

 

~~~

 

“Where is Erestor?” Glorfindel marched into Elrond’s study. Erestor’s office had been empty and he suspected he would find his elusive lover here. He wasn’t mistaken; Erestor sat near the window, reading a letter. “There you are! What did you think you were doing, writing that note?”

 

Elrond discreetly moved away from Glorfindel, who now stalked toward Erestor. Elrond stayed close enough to overhear their conversation. He didn’t want to miss a moment now that Glorfindel seemed ready to confront Erestor.

 

Erestor had the grace to look ashamed and blushed. The blond Elf was only wearing leggings! “Glorfindel! You are not properly dressed!” He gave Elrond an apologetic look and was surprised to see a grin on the half-Elf’s face. Why was this amusing?

 

Glorfindel waved the note in front of Erestor’s face. “Care to explain this nonsense?”

 

Erestor would have preferred to do this in private – without Elrond present – but Glorfindel seemed determined to do this here and now. “I appreciate what you did for me,” he said, raising eyes in which lay all the love he was capable of. “But I also know the truth.”

 

“The truth?” Glorfindel’s anger vaporized, seeing that adoring expression in Erestor’s eyes. He didn’t know what Erestor thought was the truth, but he was certain he could fix this. “What is the truth then?” he asked, kneeling in front of the raven-haired Elf, who was no longer wearing *his* robes. The green had looked so good on him! Now Erestor had returned to wearing dark colors! “Tell me.”

 

“You heard me say that I did not want to be alone anymore and you took pity on me. And that is all right. I understand why you did it and I am grateful for last night. You made my wildest dreams come true. But it was only an illusion and I know that.”

 

“Erestor, this is not an illusion. My love is real.” He gathered Erestor’s hands in his and maintained eye contact. He wanted to see the exact moment when the truth registered with the dark-haired Elf. “I do not know what happened to you in the past to think that I am playing games or acting out of pity, but I assure you that I am sincere. I love you, Erestor. I want to be with you. I want to make love to you. I want to crawl inside you, take up residence in your heart and never leave again. What must I do to convince you?” He threw Erestor’s note onto the floor and caressed his lover’s hands. “I love you,” he said, stressing each word.

 

Elrond held his breath, counting the seconds until understanding would show in Erestor’s eyes.

 

“You… Not an illusion? But… You love me?” A deep frown was etched onto Erestor’s brow as he struggled to understand. “But you… You cannot… You do not…”

 

“I love you,” whispered Glorfindel, rising to meet Erestor’s lips. He claimed them in a tender kiss, slipping his fingers into the ebony hair. His gaze remained locked with Erestor’s and suddenly he was pulled close. Possessive arms wrapped around him and lips and teeth parted. Erestor lured his tongue inside and Glorfindel followed. Their kiss deepened and he had to break free to breathe. Erestor used that moment to shower his face with kisses and Glorfindel smiled now that Erestor had finally accepted the truth. “I love you, you silly Elf,” whispered Glorfindel, relieved that Erestor was reacting to his kisses and caresses.

 

“Oh, Glorfindel, I did not think that you could really love me.”

 

“That was most silly of you,” mumbled Glorfindel, taking possession of Erestor’s lap. Once he had had made himself comfortable, he wrapped his arms around the dark-haired Elf and looked at him – simply looked at him.

 

The silly smile on Glorfindel’s face made Erestor giggle. “You really love me!” he called out, pulling Glorfindel close and smothering him with kisses until the blond Elf begged for mercy because he needed to breathe.

 

“Sorry,” said Erestor, apologizing, and loosening his crushing hold on the blond Elf. An impish expression shone from his eyes. “You *do* realize that I will never let you out of my sight again? You are stuck with me until the end of Arda.”

 

“I do not mind one bit,” said Glorfindel, brushing his lips against Erestor’s. “I want you at my side.”

 

Elrond had seen enough and decided to give the two lovers some privacy. Closing the door behind him, he grinned. It looked like love had finally found Erestor.

 

The end


End file.
